Mobile Personality Detection Guide

Mobile Personality Detection Guide 1

“Show me your phone, and I shall tell you who you are! “Don’t worry if you haven’t heard about that before. At least now you have. Check below to see which of the following personalities is yours. If none of the profile fits you, then watch out for more.

The “High Tension” (PHCN) personality:

• Your ring-tone will give the most unruly “Made-China” 95oKVA generator a run for its eardrum bursting talent

• Your phone bears the best bumps and scratches that come from your restless fingers every few seconds. (This means that you are a Nokia-4-Lifer, since it is a smash proof brand!)

• Your new-message tone sounds louder than your incoming-call tone (Nokia-4-ever again)

• Your keypad buttons are permanently set to keypad tone=MAXIMUM mode. Which means that by paying attention to the rhythm your keypad buttons belt out when pressed in quick succession (i.e. during a messaging session), anyone with half-brain would effortlessly deduce the contents of your outgoing SMSes.

• Your phonebook is always full to capacity because you save every phone number seen on TV including AIT Adverts and Sponsorship desk, etc, billboards, on Radio (Cool fm, Raypower), and in newspaper adverts(Shoprite) etc.

• Your message inbox is perpetually full to capacity because you are always too busy/ hassled to delete messages.

The “Rule of Law” (Dividends of Democracy) Personality

• “Phones are neither to be seen nor heard.” Your phone is permanently on silent/ vibration in public places.

• Your phone-voice never rises above a whisper. When you get angry you speak through your teeth.

• You ‘re always looking over your back when on the phone, to be sure no one is listening Two years after your phone is still looking good as new

• Your phone is switched off at bed time

• If, on stepping out of the house, you discover you left your phone behind, you don’t return for it

The “My Mercedes is Bigger than Yours” aka “I beta pass my neighbor” personality

• You are dying to tell your friends the news of how you cruised your Uncle’s cousin’s brother’s wife’s father’s brand 2008 Camry at 200 mile per hour on Third Mainland Bridge. But you don’t send a text to convey the info. No. instead you “disclose” the news into your mobile phone (with your vocal cords turned up to the loudest) on the queue at the cinemas.

• Your new Nokia N95 never finds “network” until you’re in heavy traffic and all the 5 cars surrounding you have their windows wound down so they can see your “toy”.

• You discreetly flash yourself with your other phone in public places, to advertise your phone and ring tone.

• Your phone alarm rings every hour to draw attention to your new toy.

The “Devil’s workshop” or”SEND TO ALL” Personality

• You spend all your time forwarding forwarded-forwarded messages. SEND TO ALL.

• Your phone battery- life is measured in minutes due to endless flashing, messaging, playing of games, and pointless fooling around with the phone. (Phone permanently plugged into power socket).

• You have reached the highest score on that kindergarten-level “brick” game on your phone.

• Even when your phone battery is dead you still catch a load of fun playing imaginary games on it.

The “GSM for dummies” Personality

• One year on, you still don’t know how to change the “screensaver” of your phone.

• You constantly boast about how ignorant you are of the megapixels capacity of your phone’s camera.

• You keep mistakenly changing your ring tone; so that your phone rings endlessly while you’re busy thinking it’s someone else’s.

• You can’t tell the difference between “Bluetooth “and “Infra-Red” and you don’t care!

Chinedu Ezeh C.
emailchineduezeh@yahoo.com